Tired!

Feeling tired of teaching!

The enthusiasm of teaching seems completely disappeared within me!

Really feels tired, disappointed and lost in my career...I had really been struggling so hard to regain my interest in teaching in recent years, and trying every way to refresh my mind as well as to uplift my spirit but yet nothing seemed works!

As the school teachers, we teach and teach and teach, just to cover all the syllabuses of various subjects within limited time!

We teach and teach and teach, trying every way to collect tones of homework given back from the students!We teach and teach and teach, hoping that the students will pass or even ace their exam!

I could neither derive any happiness nor contentment from my job, and the most frustrating and depressing fact is I couldn't bring much happiness to the students throughout their learning process other than pushing them really much to have their work done as required and to achieve better result as expected.

In fact, teaching and learning shouldn't be like that, just to fulfill the result requirements and expectations of the school and the education department, but nothing concerns about developing the character, behavior, self-discipline, intelligence, mind and even wisdom of the students besides loading them with tones of homework...

May be it's time for me to review and to make some changes or adjustment either in my emotion or teaching career.... I should really change myself to adapt to the uncomfortable situation facing now, but not manipulated by the situation, right?!

Well, will keep working my way towards the reviving of the inspiration, spirit and vigor lost...
Good luck to me!

Regular Visitors

what on earth were they staring at??

Jookim, Zili and the other boys and girls of my 2001 class were here tonight. They had been gathering here every Lunar New Year since they left school. There used to be quite a big group of them, but the group seemed smaller this year 'cause some of them couldn't stay longer as they had some other things to attend to. I really appreciated their regular visit.

They talked among themselves about their school lives and their friends. Zili was always the focus among them, he used to bring them a lot of funny stories and he really was the bomb of laughter. Some boys were always quiet and timid like chunhow, mingyang, weixiang and chunfan, they used to sit quietly and uttered only a few sentences with the others.

All the boys and girls will be sitting for their SPM at the end of the year, they had always been doing very well in their study, may they succeed in their exams!

Visitors From The Year 1998 Class

2 girls and a boy of my 1998 class came visiting today. Xinyee and Peijin had been here last year but the boy with gold-dyed hair seemed strange to me. He claimed that he was one of the problem boys in the class, I could hardly remember such a problem boy but those boys that created discipline problems. He finally told me that he was Liu shunlong, another boy that had always been punished for not doing his work too. He is now a grown up and hardworking boy. He wished to take hotel management course if he can get a place in the university. The three of them are waiting for their STPM result to be released, good luck to them.

We had a really long chat. They told me lots of stories about their old classmates, especially the boys. None of them had gone bad though some of them didn't finish their study in secondary school. Those boys were once naughty but they were howsoever ignorant. I really care about their future, I hope that they will learn to earn their living in a proper way at the right path.

Then we went to have pizza for our lunch and we bid each other good bye after the lunch. May they pass their exam with flying colors.

Boys From The Estate

Glad indeed to have some of the old students came visiting during Lunar New Year. There were always faces that could hardly recognize. There were always names that needed to be uncovered deep from the memories…

How small they were many years ago!

Several boys from my previous school SJKC Pangkalan Bukit Estate came visiting to my place. There were some faces that haven't appeared since I last saw them about 10 years ago and they have really grown up till I wasn't even able to recognize them or speak out their names. They were the Law's brothers, Chan Hock the eldest and Chan Seng the youngest are studying in UPM and UM, both of them has been working hard and I am looking forward to attending their convocation a year later. Chan Keong, the timid boy works as an air-con mechanic in Singapore after his STPM and I was glad that he was here together with them.

Guang Ming is a really hardworking and independent boy who has been trying very hard to upgrade himself. He worked in Singapore for years to accumulate some fund in order to further study as his family couldn't afford to support him. He is now taking interior design course in MIA, the Malaysia Institute of Arts. Wish him all the best.

Zhizhong, Chow Ming and Ming Hui were faces that haven't been appeared since I last left them. Zhizhong came all the way from Simpang Renggam, his family shifted there when he was in primary 5. He has been working in Singapore for almost 5 years and he is now staying with Chow Ming and Chan Keong in Singapore. I was told that they always help and rely on each other over there. In fact, they had been so close and always helping each other since they were small.

Chow Ming works as a cook and I hope that he will become a great chef in future. Ming Hui involves in the business of the spare parts of car in Skudai, he brought his girl friend along. He reminded me he was the one always being punished for not doing his work!

We talked about their career and present life, we talked about the past too, and they even asked for the pictures of the past. I was really touched when zhizhong was humming "The Ancient Temple" that I taught them many years ago. They shared the pictures that brought back lots of memories joyously. I feel really proud of all the boys, they are the children from the estate, their parents are mostly illiterate, but they have been striving very hard for their better future.

May they succeed in everything they do!

Meal of Love

My girl xiuling is studying in CHIJ and staying at the Oldham Hall of Anglo Chinese School in Singapore. Today, I went to pay her a visit again. This was the 3rd time I went visiting her, but still couldn't quite sure where the school is. Asked for help from the bus driver, but the most helpful Indian driver dropped me at the wrong bus-stop, and then he drove off down the road that led him to the next stop just in front of ACS.

I called my girl immediately to tell her that her most stupid cikgu had lost her way. She was so nervous and asked me to stop at where I was. A few minutes later, I saw a girl hugging a container and carrying a big paper bag rushing towards me, and she was my girl. When she got to my place, she greeted me with a warmest kiss though she was still perspiring and gasping. And then I was told that I was only a short distance away from ACS.

My girl led me to the canteen of ACS, and we had our lunch there, it was around 2pm. My girl prepared a most wonderful meal for me. She brought some bread, canned tuna curry which had been heated, vegie and dried pork, and we had sandwiches for our lunch together. She had also brought me apples and even iced-orange juice in the container she hugged. I just can't forget the scene she hugged and carried all those stuff rushing towards her most stupid cikgu. It's such a touching scene. I had really had a most wonderful and unforgetable meal across the country in my life, it's a meal of love, a meal of love that nobody could ever enjoy other than such stupid cikgu.....

My girl's love had really flooded her stupid cikgu's heart.....